


Verbs Before Nouns

by lescousinsdangereux



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hogwarts AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 17:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5013355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lescousinsdangereux/pseuds/lescousinsdangereux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Amy wants in life is to secure an appointment to a high ranking position within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and to make the name 'Amy Santiago' one that inspires self-assurance and zeal in young witches across the entire wizarding world. And for Rosa to stop rolling her eyes whenever she says as such. (The latter might be less realistic than the former.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Verbs Before Nouns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SapphoIsBurning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphoIsBurning/gifts).



_And I swear in a while I will get this down._  
_We'll patch the holes and set sail on this town._  
_And now stand up on the couch over my bed while I'm in sinking sand_  
_And those arms sway left and right the masts of a ship to a water's beat._  
_This ship it feels like home._

[Matt & Kim, ‘ _Verbs Before Nouns_ ’]

 

* * *

 

"Okay, stop looking like you’ve got to take a piss. I'm here."

Amy jumps at the interruption to her furious pacing, but almost immediately after, smoothes out her expression and her robe, before leaning in to give Rosa a quick and absentminded kiss. 

"Oh, thank Merlin. I thought you were going to be late.”

“Late to being fifteen minutes early?” Rosa questions, an eyebrow raising. 

“Thirty minutes, actually. I wanted a buffer.”

“A buffer to the buffer?”

The exasperation is evident enough that Amy, concentrated as she is on the continued smoothing of her robes and hawk-eye vigil on the front door of The Three Broomsticks, actually notices. And promptly pulls her ‘this is crucial to my future as a high ranking member of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement’ face.

“This meeting is _crucial_ to my future appointment to a high ranking position within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Rosa! And—and—” Having turned her full attention to Rosa for the first time, she now _gasps_. “And what is—is that a _Four-in-Hand_ knot? We’re not going to a _social gathering_ , Rosa!”

“That’s exactly what we’re—”

“Even a Half-Windsor would have been pushing it, but a _common knot_? This meeting is _crucial_ to my future appointment to a—”

“Santiago,” Rosa interrupts, voice low and warning as she knocks away the hands that are reaching for her neck tie. “I’m here. I wore my school uniform to _Hogsmeade_. The tie is knotted. Be _grateful_.”

Clearly, there’s more Amy wants to say on the matter, but she swallows it down and consoles herself by stroking her own (perfectly formed, with the two strips of silver exactly in the middle of the knot) Full Windsor.

“Right. Yes. It’s good.” She stops stroking her tie and flips her hair back in a manner that’s meant to be casual, but fails completely (as does the drawl that follows). “It’s _all_ good.” 

“Convincing,” Rosa says with an eye roll, but then almost grins as she (gently!) pushes Amy towards the front door of the pub. “Guess you’re ready, then.”

Amy reacts in a way that makes her look like a frightened rodent, twisting around Rosa’s hand and skirting behind her back.

“I thought we might… _practice_ , first? You can pretend to be Former Slytherin Head Boy, Raymond Holt, and I…”

“Not my kind of roleplaying,” Rosa grunts, snagging Amy around the waist and pulling her forward again. “Let’s go find a seat. You can look over your ridiculous notes.”

“R-ridiculous?” Amy sputters and Rosa rolls her eyes and continues to move Amy towards the Three Broomsticks, pushing the door open with her shoulder. “I didn’t realize that being _organized_ and _on time_ and _prepared_ were ridiculous things, Rosa. Surely you remember the great American Founding Father Benjamin Franklin? By failing to prepare we prepare to… Oh _gods_ they’re here!”

Rosa would have laughed long and hard over the expression that so completely transforms Amy’s face as soon as she spots the two men sitting at the table across the pub from them, but as it is, she has no time to do so.  As Amy dives (behind a group of boisterous women near the front door) she pulls Rosa along with her, and Rosa finds the situation a great deal less amusing while crouching on the floor of the dirty pub, with Amy hissing in her ear (in a not particularly sexy manner).

“They’re _here_.”

“Yeah. Heard that the first time. Great. That’s why we’re here. To _see_ them.”

She moves to stand, only to be yanked back down into a crouch by Amy.

“Santiago,” she growls.

“As a Head Boy, Raymond Holt once gave a _legendary_ three minute speech on business meeting tactics, to his prefects.”

Rosa groans. Amy ignores her.

(This is not atypical.)

“In it, he said, and I quote, ‘Pick the location. Arrive first. Select the seats facing the door.’ End quote.” She nods in finality, but then adds hurriedly. “I read the Unabridged Quick Quills notes from the meeting. They’re saved in the library for posterity.”

“I’m fighting my attraction to you right now,” Rosa feels the need to supply. “You should know that.”

“This is no time for flirtations, Rosa,” Amy snaps. “Former Slytherin Head Boy Raymond Holt and Former Hufflepuff Head Boy Terry Jeffords have spectacularly outplayed us and my future appointment to a high ranking position…”

“Bloody hell. Stop.”

“… Within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is in very obvious jeopardy,” Amy finishes, because of course she does.

Rosa groans again, this time throwing her head back with the force of the expulsion of annoyance. “You know what will _really_ jeopardize your fancy career plan? _Not going to the bloody meeting at all_.” This time when she stands, she pulls Amy up with her and meets little resistance.

“You’re right,” Amy breathes. “You’re absolutely right. This is silly, right? Yes. It is.” Instead of moving around the crowd of witches, however, she (once again) reaches to straighten her tie… until Rosa bats her hand away.  

“I know. So stop fidgeting.”

“I’m not...” Amy trails off as Rosa rolls her eyes in a manner that is beyond exaggerated. “Okay, yes, fine. Fidgeting.”

“Amy…”

“Okay, yes, fine.” She takes a deep breath, but still doesn’t move.

Rosa sighs, pressing the heel of her palm into her forehead. “Oh, gods, fine, let’s do the thing.”

“The…”

“The thing. Come on. ‘ _I am a strong, confident witch, who…_ ’”

“I need a mirror, Rosa!”

“Look, I’ll be your mirror. Come on.”

Amy takes in the determined (and slightly uncomfortable) look on Rosa’s face and feels just a little bit calmer; she breathes deep.

“I am a strong confident witch, who… Rosa, you said you’d be my _mirror_.”

 With a glance around at their surroundings, Rosa’s shoulders hunch a bit, her discomfort increasing, but – to her credit – she shifts to face Amy completely and nods grimly.

“I am a strong, confident witch,” Amy continues, and Rosa mumbles along. “Who, with hard work and determination, will succeed in climbing the ranks of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement until the name _Amy Santiago_ inspires self-assurance and zeal in young witches across the entire wizarding world.”

 Rosa seems to shrink as the pledge continues; crossing her arms and folding into herself, but Amy’s shoulders straighten. It makes her look a bit like she’s got a wand up her arse, but Rosa’s not about to say so—not when Amy is finally, _finally_ stepping out from behind their unknowing human shields and striding towards Holt and Terry's table.

It’s all going _so_ well until Holt spots them.

“Ah,” he says and stands, holding out his hand. “Santiago. Welcome. Thank you for joining us today.”

“Captain Holt. Hello. Yes." She actually salutes before stepping closer. Rosa contemplates the likelihood of Amy ever touching her again if she were to turn around and leave, right then. "It is I. I am Santiago.”

Remarkably, the words are not the most awkward part of the encounter; that honor goes to Amy’s skip-jump approach, followed by a contortionist-like attempt to shake Holt’s right hand with her left.

It’s the worst thing Rosa’s ever seen. Too painful to laugh at, even. Instead, she groans, and nudges Amy into a chair.

“Thanks for having us.” This is just about all the small talk Rosa is capable of, so she’s grateful (more for Amy’s sake than her own) when Terry takes over with a too wide-smile.

“Captain, this is…”

“Rosa Diaz,” Holt cuts in. “Yes. I remember. As a first year you bit Douglas Varrick on the ankle when he called me a derogatory term.” He pauses, lifting his chin in remembrance. “You were mostly hair then.”

Rosa shrugs. “Yeah. He deserved it; guy was a jerk.”

“I was hoping you would come, Diaz,” Terry cuts in, looking between her and Amy. “I thought you both might want to hear what the Captain had to say and I’d heard you two were…” He trails off, looking between the two.

“Shagging?” Rosa offers.

_That_ snaps Amy out of her weird fangirl haze (to which Rosa would say _you’re welcome_ ). Unfortunately, it also causes her to turn a severe shade of Gryffindor red.

“Oh—that’s— I am so—Rosa!”

“Yeah, we are.”

Terry glances between Rosa’s unconcerned expression, Amy’s wide-eyed panic, and Holt’s unreadable face, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Um—that’s good, Diaz. Amy. Congratulations?”

“Thanks,” Rosa says shortly, while Amy continues to look mortified.

Holt nods, as though all of the subsequent conversation had gone according to plan. “I believe that was a sufficient amount of ‘small talk’, Sergeant Jeffords. Let’s now proceed to the purpose of this meeting.”

Everyone seems to find this suggestion agreeable; Amy (still red) looks as though she may pass out from relief, Rosa shrugs, and Terry’s thankful sigh is audible.

“Of course, sir. That’s… probably a good idea.”

“Yes, I know. That is why I suggested it.” He glances between Amy and Rosa, expression still indecipherable.  “I have been given my own task force at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”

This time, Amy’s wide eyes are due to excitement rather than panic, made evident by the way her hands flail about in sudden eagerness. Rosa decides to hold off on ordering two butterbeers; spilled drinks would hardly improve the situation.

“Oh, sir. That’s _wonderful_.” The expression on Amy’s face shifts to one that Rosa recognizes unfortunately well; well enough to have to suppress another groan at the sight of smug little smile and all-but-waggling eyebrows. “But really, is it any surprise when you are such a _renowned_ former Head Boy with N.E.W.T. scores as high as Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore?”

“I like to think a man is worth more than mere school grades.” Holt returns, voice bland.

“Oh, of _course_.” The flailing hands (now accompanied by bobbing head motions) continue as Amy attempts to correct herself. “Absolutely. I mean… totally.”

 “Yes. Well. This task force will concentrate on homicide.”

“Not necessarily dark magic-related homicide,” Terry adds, leaning forward. “We won’t be Aurors or Hit Wizards. This is going to be a completely different DMLE initiative.”

“Sergeant Jeffords will be my second-in-command. I will run the force. We have been given permission to hand-select our squad and… what is that noise?”

“Woodpecker,” Rosa says shortly, reaching down under the table to press down on Amy’s jiggling knee, effectively stopping the sound of her heel banging against the wooden floor below them.

Holt’s brow creases briefly, but he continues. “We have been given permission to hand-select our squad, and there were a few individuals still at Hogwarts who we wanted to alert. This is why we are in the village today. And why we asked you to meet us here. ”

The bounce of Amy’s knee is suddenly too much for Rosa’s one hand; she has to lean closer and add another to fully subdue the force of Amy’s excitement.

“We thought you both would be good candidates for our program,” Terry smiles. “So we wanted to give you a heads-up and see if you might be interested.”

Since Rosa’s hands are both occupied, she can’t smoother the _squawk_ that comes out of Amy’s mouth. She can, however, attempt to speak over it.

“Sounds cool.”

_Attempt_ being the key word.  

“Cool?” Amy squeaks. “ _Cool_? This is beyond _cool_ , Rosa. This is the singular most perfect, most epic, most fantastic…”

At this point, the glare (from Rosa), raised eyebrows (Terry), and blank expression (Holt) seem to pierce through Amy’s eagerness and she trails off, arranging her features into something that is probably meant to look unaffected.

“I mean… yeah.” She tosses her hair back (awkwardly). “Sounds super cool.”

“The application process will be involved; we will take into account your schoolwork, yes, but also your performance in physical examinations that we will personally design. We anticipate a full day of testing for all our candidates.”

Amy lets out a small whimper of joy.

“Maybe you could owl us the details,” Rosa offers, watching Amy as one might observe a volcano about to erupt.

Terry, clearly, is on the same page. “Yeah. Yeah, Captain, we have a lot to do in town today. Maybe we better…”

 “Yes.” Holt nods, standing and once again holding out his hand.  “I would appreciate your discretion on this matter. While there are certain individuals Sergeant Jeffords and I are hoping to recruit, the task force has not been made official yet. We would rather avoid any premature press.”

“Of course, Captain Holt.” Amy, mercifully, manages the handshake without any difficulty. “You can absolutely count on us.

(Amy fist pump once she leaves the Three Boomsticks, however, is not especially subtle.)

 

* * *

 

 

The bathroom mirror holds no face but her own when she reaches the sink; of this, Amy is quite sure when she thinks on it later. Which is why her _slight_ scream of _alarm_ when she looks up again to find Gina _directly_ behind her, locking eyes with her reflection, is _completely_ justified.

“Hello, Santiago,” Gina purrs, completely unfazed by the yelp (and jump). “Fancy meeting you here.”

 “Great Merlin’s ghost, don’t _do_ that, Gina.” Amy’s hand raises to her chest instinctively. It creates a large wet stain on her jumper, which… of course it does. “And… and _why are you in the prefects’ bathroom_?”

Gina, of course, ignores her and her plight. “I heard you met with Holt and Jeffords this morning. I heard that they’re recruiting for a new task force. I heard that they asked you and Diaz to apply.”

“What… That _just_ happened, Gina. How did you know _any_ of that?”

Gina suddenly spins Amy around until they are face to face and then – curiously – lifts the length of her own tie and places it directly in front of Amy’s eyes.

“What color is this tie, Santiago?”

Before she answers, Amy blinks once. “It’s… blue and bronze?”

“That’s _right_!” Gina yells, and Amy jumps again. “Because I’m a Ravenclaw, girl! I’m a majestic eagle flying above the rest of you lame land dwellers. I eat knowledge for _breakfast_. I drink it up like a one knut butterbeers. I devour it like my g-mum’s Yorkshire pudding.” Taking a step closer, she adds (in a whisper), “I know _everything_.”

Amy takes a step back. And then another.

“It sounds as though you have no use for me, then. Though, the _rumors_ you may have heard sound… implausible and unfounded.”  (She takes another step towards the door.)  “I would disregard them entirely.”

“I’m watching you, Santiago,” Gina calls after her, once Amy turns to run away (with dignity!) in earnest. “Always watching.”

 

* * *

 

“I think… Gina wants to join Captain Holt’s task force?”

Amy is still moderately confused as she reenters her common room and approaches the couch, and Rosa laughs in a way that she only does when being amused by Gina’s antics or making fun of Amy. (This time, it turns out to be a result of a combination of the two.)

“Ha. Good. That’ll be hilarious. She’ll drive you mad.”

“Drive _us_ mad, right?”

The couch dips as Amy sits down, removing her shoes one at a time and avoiding meeting Rosa’s stare, which she can feel burning in between her shoulder blades.

“Wow,” Rosa drawls. “You lasted almost an hour. Granted, you were so locked in your cult-like mania over Holt that this is the first time you've even blinked. So.”

That’s an invitation, right? Amy thinks it sounds like an invitation. But when she turns to face Rosa, she’s wearing her ‘tread carefully’ expression (raised eyebrow and all) and so… maybe it hadn’t been.

“I just thought…” The eyebrow raises another centimeter; Amy repeats a bit of her strong, confident woman mantra to herself. “We’re going to have to talk about it eventually, Rosa!”

 “No.”

And… yes, there’s the crossing of the arms. Amy could almost sigh.

“You want to work for the DMLE.”

“Yeah.”

“This position would be working for the DMLE.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’d be a really, really good position. And you’d get to bust _loads_ of _super_ bad guys.”

“Amy.”

“And you’d be working with me!” Amy finally bursts out, but then folds her hands in her lap, dropping her gaze to the same location and continuing in a far more subdued tone. “This is what we both wanted and now we could do it together. I just… don’t understand why you aren’t excited.”

“I _am_ excited.”

Amy’s head jerks upwards. “What?”

“I think it sounds great,” Rosa reiterates, this time in a mumble. “Don’t make a big deal of it, or whatever.”

“So you… you want to work with me, huh?”

Rosa only grunts in confirmation, but that’s enough to make Amy’s smug smile stretch across her face—enough to get her to slide across the couch until her thigh is alongside Rosa’s.

“You want to catch bad guys with _me_ ,” she continues in a sing-song.

“Shut it, Santiago,” Rosa grumps, but doesn’t pull away, even when Amy leans even closer.

This time, Amy adds a bit of a shoulder shimmy. “You want to be my _partner.”_

“You’re such a _dork_.” But Rosa’s smiling now; that small, little smile she only wears when she’s feeling charmed by one Amy Santiago and failing to hide it.

“You want me to be _your dork_.”

Amy grins with another shimmy and Rosa rolls her eyes.

But then kisses her in response.  

(Because yeah. She wants all that.)  

**Author's Note:**

> Happy FemslashEx, sapphoisburning!
> 
> (The Miss Congeniality reference had to happen because Gracie Hart is basically Amy and Rosa's lovechild.)


End file.
